Being a parent means sacrificing your future for your kid’s future.
Parents strive to make kid’s lives better before they come in this world and continue to do that till their last breath. The sacrifices they make for their children are innumerable, I’ve tried to put some of those sacrifices here:
After becoming parent a couple’s life is centered around their little bundle of joy. A couple transforms into a mom and dad and everything that was before ‘us’ is now ‘our baby’. Throughout their life, parents dedicate their time directly or indirectly for their kids. Even relaxing after a busy day at work seems difficult as little baby is eagerly waiting to play with the parents the whole day. The ‘Me time’ is out of the schedule forever for a parent.
This is one of the biggest sacrifice someone makes as a parent. Emotional Quotient(EQ) is more important than Intelligence Quotient(IQ). An emotionally stable person is happier than someone who’s not. Our parents change their lives for us, but it does hurt their emotional health. There are some people and moments in their lives which provide them emotional security. But due to parental responsibilities they can’t meet that often. All these sacrifices dissipate their emotional health.
Parents spend money to fulfill all the kid’s needs right from childhood. They provide the best education possible and sometimes go beyond their limits to give kids better opportunities. These sacrifices take a great toll on their financial planning. Also the great Indian wedding, is a big enough expense to empty their pockets. If it’s a girl then parents go to the point of taking loans in old age to marry their girl by giving dowry at times. A son is expected to share financial responsibilities of his parents when they age. But if the son doesn’t earn it is worse for parents in their old age.
The first relationship that gets affected with the birth of a baby are of the parents themselves. The spouse are now first mom or dad. The priority list changes and suddenly baby tops the list of all relationships. Some friends and family members drift apart from parents emotionally. Life is now defined by relations that are important to parent and not individual. At times, parent may lose a treasured relation of lifetime because of kid’s misbehavior.
- Personal life
As we discussed the ‘Me and We time’ is out of the time table for the parents. A kid demands undivided attention till s/he becomes independent. By that time the age and financial independence is over for the parents. Post retirement they do find time for themselves, but the golden days of adulthood are lost in creating a life for kids than themselves. Many parents suffer relationship issues with their partner because they spend their lives either working or caring for kids. This causes a fading emotional connect between spouses.
Our parents curb all their freedom of choices for us. It can be freedom to take a job their heart desires, to live in city they like, to pursue their hobbies, to spend money the way they want. But they give up all choices for us. They rather chose a job that pays well, a city that’s suitable for our future, save money for our education and future needs. It is possible that they could’ve succeeded and lived happier if they had enjoyed their freedom of choice.
- Social life
The social life of parents takes a backseat after the baby. Once the baby grows up, schooling becomes the epicenter of parents to expand their social life. Once the kid is settled in live professionally and personally, they find time to expand their social circle. As individuals the growth parents would’ve gained personally, socially and professionally would’ve been way better the other way.
Majority of the times a mother sacrifices. Biologically having a major part in child birth, she puts everything on hold, including her professional life. Naturally father has to give his career more importance to fulfill family needs. Many parents take up jobs that allow them to spend more time with kids.
Parents usually give up on their favorite foods to inculcate healthy eating in kids. Going to restaurant that everyone else but the kid likes; giving up major portion of everyone’s favorite food to the kid to relish. Some less well to do parents have to even give up a one-time meal to feed their kids.
Starting from their wardrobe, to the house decor, to the car, all are decided to suit the kid’s comfort or later are ruled by her choices. Holiday plans are decided by kid’s education. Later parents are dependent on kids post retirement they even have to shift city to be with them. It’s very difficult, leaving the place they spend their lives and adjusting in a new setup in the old age.
Parents have unconditional love for kids. With old age parents become our kids and need love and care. Remember, a parent never retires. Maybe their words of wisdom don’t hold relevance in today’s world, but experience is the best teacher. After all sacrifices if a parent doesn’t even get love and respect, imagine the trauma they’ll suffer. The world is becoming smaller and we need to move places to grow professionally. We don’t need to drag our parents in their old age everywhere. Just genuine love and being there when they need us is more than sufficient for them to feel proud of their upbringing.
There’s one thought that I will mention, it’s very true for me, as a daughter, and now as a mother,
“The more I go through parenting, the more I owe an apology to my parents.”
Life is very short let’s live it the best. I am a learner forever, everyone around me teaches something that adds to my personality. And I love to share my thoughts and experiences with others, provided it interests them! Trying new things, meeting new people and traveling to new places interest me. This is reflected in my career from a Mechanical Engineer, to a Trainer, to a mother and now a budding writer!
10 Sacrifices A Good Father Makes For His Child
Tags : top 10
One working definition of sacrifice is this:sacrifice is giving up something temporarily good for something eternally better. There are many brief, good things in your life: watching football, shooting a round of golf, hunting, fishing, exercise, etc. But all of them are far inferior to spending time with your children. Going in the backyard and tossing a ball with your child, going out for ice cream or playing a board game with your kids should always trump the time spent on the trivial.
So minimize your brief pleasures if you cannot include your children in those activities. Instead invest in what will last. Live the best life possible. Sacrifice yourself for your children. Here are 10 sacrifices a good father makes for his child:
1. The Lifestyle
Jimmy Buffett would have been proud to know you. No responsibility was felt towards anything and your life revolved around the next bit of fun. It was a shallow existence, but you were just the man to make it rock. Eventually, last call always occur. The lights come on and the party is over. You still slip out on occasion to catch Monday Night Football and see how many .50 cent wings you can down. But Margaritaville has long since closed. Nowadays you sip ice tea and your wing man uses a sippy cup.
2. Stepping Up To The Plate
Sometimes you can’t believe the words are coming from your mouth. “I sound just like my Dad” you think to yourself with a slight bit of fear. Then, you remember you are the Dad now. A different set of priorities now rest at your feet. You are the responsible one now. Discipline and guidance have now been reassigned to your department. You step up to the plate and you deliver, because that is what a good man does.
3. Tick Tock
Time moves like a bullet train. Even Christmas sneaks up on you like a fleet-footed time bandit. There is always something else that needs done and somewhere else you need to be. Then, you see those big brown eyes staring up at you. The only place you know you will be is right where they want you to be. You slap the time bandit upside his head and you sit down and play Candyland. A good Dad knows the meaning of the phrase “time well wasted.”
4. Mean Green
Sure with your money you would love to upgrade the golf clubs. That 80 inch hi-def at Best Buy taunts you every time you walk by it. But you leave those items in your dreams. Or on a “wish list” that gets larger every month. You work hard so your family has the things they need. Luxuries are for them when possible. College funds, insurance and retirement plans are where you have your spending sprees now. For some money pointers, here are Quick Ways to Trim your Budget.
5. The Sandman
No, not the future Hall of Fame closer of the New York Yankees. The Sandman who used to allow for a great night of sleep. He seems to be tardy in your life a great deal now. Remember sleeping past 10:00 am once upon a time? You are lucky to make it past 8:00 am on the weekends and 6:30 am during the week. Work starts early and ends late. Saturday morning arrives and before the sun can fully rise a little face is staring in yours wanting your full attention. Your first instinct might be to gently take your forearm and shoo her back to SpongeBob. But you don’t. Thoughts of your Mom screaming “Are you going to sleep the whole day away young man?” race through your head. This while you eat your Frosted Mini-Wheat’s watching SpongeBob and your daughter explains who Mr. Krabs is. “No Mom, I’m apparently not going to sleep any whole day away ever again.”
6. The Dream Job
You work hard and you’re talented. Naturally, opportunities arise. There is always a kicker though. This one moves the family across the country. That one requires that you travel three weeks a month. The money is incredible, but how much of your soul is required to take it? You come home and your son plops in your lap and tells you all about his day. His best friend across the street helped him make a skateboard ramp. At that moment, you realize you are just fine where you are for now. The corporate ladder only needed to be climbed just so far. Your dream job has already been realized and business is booming.
7. The Cool Factor
Nobody likes to think of themselves as a nerd. You have friends and people like you. You’re cool right? No, sorry Dad, you aren’t. You look ridiculous when you wear those hideous jean shorts your wife bought at Target. Your belly is chubby and your haircut long since went out of style. You wear plaid shirts and khaki pants on a daily basis for goodness sake. All you need is the pocket protector and you just got cast for “Revenge of the Nerds Part 8.” No, you aren’t cool, but there is a very positive trade-off. You are Superman in the eyes of a special little child. Superman trumps cool…always.
8. The Rabid Fan
Back in the day you had season tickets and never missed a game. You found the fact that some fans came late and left early nauseating. Come rain, sleet, wind or snow, you were going to the game and staying until the clock hit zero. You were the most rabid of rabid fans. One beautiful wife, two adorable children and a mortgage payment later, those tickets are long gone. Occasionally, you spend what amounts to a full car payment to take the whole family with you for a game. You arrive late because your daughter puked on the way. You leave early because your son’s diaper is full and you forgot the diaper bag. You don’t know the final outcome and, at this point, you don’t really care. Then your mind drifts to this weekend’s big game and you get excited once again. The big game between the Westminster Dragons and the Shady Oaks Tigers. Dreams of “scholarship” dance through your head as your daughter scores her third goal. Rabid fan reborn.
9. Coup d’état
A man’s home is his castle right? Son, you’ve been overthrown by the Prince and the fair Princess. Tiger is finally playing like himself again and you would like to watch it on the big screen? Sorry Charlie. This is the final season of Veggie Tales on TV and every episode is “special.” Think you might surf the Net a little bit and see what’s going on in the world? Nope. The Princess is playing a game involving lots of furry animals, while talking to her friends on the phone who are doing the same. Do you know who the low man on the totem pole is, Chief? In almost every instance, it’s Dad. You just shake your head with a smile and go take a nap. That’s what was going to happen while watching golf anyway. Life is good.
10. Spreading Their Wings
She just learned how to ride a bike and now she’s backing your car down the driveway. A few days ago, she was playing with Barbies and now she has a date coming to pick her up. Yesterday, you were holding her hand walking into Kindergarten and now the trunk is packed for college. The most difficult sacrifice for any great father is letting go. But we do. They spread their wings and off they soar. We taught them well and they are majestic as they fly towards the horizon with the sun at their back. Job well done Dad. Job extremely well done.